A couple of months ago, I was asked to give a talk to our church congregation on the "role of women," a phrase I hate. To me it implies that there are boundaries that women are limited to--as if we are put within a box labeled "role" that we must stay within. I had some reservations about sharing my feelings on women and the church: what a woman's "role" really is, the divine capacity of women, and my belief that women can and should do more. However, my bishop assured me that my thoughts were exactly what the ward needed to hear. So I wrote my talk, with the idea that this was my chance to honestly express my beliefs on the subject.
Admittedly, this is not the type of post I typically put on our blog, but I want my son and daughters to be able to look back on this and know how I feel.
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When my Mom was 29, she was
working as a high school teacher, she was engaged to be married, and she had a
picture in her mind of what she thought her current role in the church should
be: she would soon be a wife, and eventually a mother. And then she had tithing settlement. At the end of the meeting, her bishop said that
he had something else to discuss with her: he felt prompted that she should go
on a mission. Obviously this came as a
huge surprise to my mom. Her bishop
asked her to pray about it, and ask the Lord if it was His will. When talking about this experience, my mom always
says that before she even left the church building, the spirit confirmed to
her that she needed to serve a mission. Just
like missionaries called in the early days of the church, she dropped
everything to serve: she quit her job, broke off her engagement, and served a
mission in Mexico. The Lord knew the
role my mother should take at that time, even though it was different than the
one she had expected.
Regardless of gender, ultimately
our role on earth is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man
(Moses 1:39).” Though our divine
responsibilities and intrinsic characteristics may differ, as God’s children, our purpose on earth is to further His work.
Today I would like to talk about the eternal nature of gender and our
relationship with our Heavenly Parents, the divine stature of women, the equality
of men and women in the sight of God, as well as examples of women fulfilling
their role of furthering the work of the Lord.
According to The Family
Proclamation, “gender is an essential characteristic of … premortal, mortal,
and eternal identity and purpose.” The
characteristic of gender—being male or female—is an unchanging, eternal part of
who we are. I find great comfort in
knowing that before I came to the earth, I was living with my Heavenly Parents,
who knew me as their daughter and were intimately aware of my concerns. I was their daughter then, in the premortal
life, I am their daughter now, in this life, and I will continue to be their
daughter in the life to come.
Just as our children inherit characteristics
from us as parents, we, in turn, inherit divine attributes from our Heavenly
Father and Heavenly Mother. The First
Presidency, under the direction of President Joseph F. Smith, taught, “all men
and women are in the similitude of the universal Father and Mother.” Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone further specified
that “women are endowed with special traits and attributes that come trailing
down through eternity from a divine mother.”
Women have always been and
always will be an integral part of the Lord’s church. “Just as certain men were foreordained from
before the foundations of the world, so were certain women appointed to certain
tasks (Elder Neal A. Maxwell).”
Six years ago today, we were attending
church in the city of Banja Luca in Bosnia and Herzegovina. At the time, we were living in Sarajevo, but we
took the 5 hour train ride to visit our friends, the Rowe family, who were the
only church members in the city. So in
attendance at church that day was my family, the Rowe family, and their
neighbor—a teenage girl named Vicky.
Vicky’s family lived down the street from the Rowe’s; she had noticed
right away that there was something different about the Rowe family and wanted
to know what it was. At the time, the
country of Bosnia and Herzegovina was not yet dedicated for missionary work,
and our church was not even recognized by the government as a religion. However, Vicky started attending church regularly
with the Rowe family in their home. Eventually,
she and the rest of her family were the first people to be taught and baptized
within the country of Bosnia. Three
years later, Vicky received her mission call; she was the first missionary to
be called from Bosnia. Today, there are
over 60 members of the church in Bosnia and Herzegovina, with congregations in
Banja Luca and Sarajevo, as well as full-time missionaries serving in both
cities. I do not doubt that Vicky had a
divine mission assigned to her before she came to earth, and that she helped to
fulfill that mission as she and her family became members of the church in
Bosnia.
More than 25 years ago,
President Gordon B. Hinckley issued a challenge to the women of the church to
“rise to the stature of the divine within you.”
What is that divine stature? President Russell M. Nelson’s talk in last
October’s general conference spoke about the great work that women can and
should do for the church. His talk is
titled, “A Plea to My Sisters,” and that is exactly what it is. He listed more than 40 characteristics that
he implored women of the church to attain.
I want to share some of those attributes to you because I think they are
so important. With many of these, he
begins by stating, “We need women who…”:
And there are dozens more!
I believe the capacity of
women is immense—and sorely underutilized!
President James E. Faust stated “I do not believe that God’s purposes on
earth will ever be achieved without the … special gifts of the elect women of
God.” That list of over 40
characteristics given by President Nelson is an example of some of those
“special gifts,” the “divine stature within.” Women have been given—handed down from our
Heavenly Father and Mother—unique qualities that enable us to further the work
of the Lord in exceptional ways.
A couple of weeks ago in
Gospel Doctrine class, I shared the conversion story of my grandma. To be brief—my grandpa had been a member
all his life, but had not been active for several years when my grandparents
got married. When my grandma decided
they should start going to church together, Grandpa told her that she should
join his. Grandma said she would take
the church lessons, but only if she was taught using the Bible and nothing
else. And so she was, and gained a
testimony of the church. Grandma was an exceptional woman.
My grandparents passed
away several years ago, but all of the grandchildren received a book about their lives: notes
they had written, life stories, their testimonies, and several
pictures. It includes my grandmother’s
wedding portrait, the train of her dress circled around in front of her
and her long veil trailing down her back.
She looks beautiful. But my
favorite picture of my grandma is much less ornate. She is about 50 years old. She is sitting at her kitchen table, with the
telephone to her ear. She isn’t looking
at the camera, but her face shows concern, presumably because of whatever is
being said over the telephone. The
caption reads “Christmas Day 1965, Relief Society President.” I love that picture. To me, it shows the epitome of the divine stature
of women and reflects the qualities that President Nelson pleads for his
sisters to have.
Christmas Day 1965, Relief Society President
None of the characteristics
on President Nelson’s list are passive.
They are all action words that are calling us to work. And nowhere in that list is there any mention
of cooking or cleaning or quilting—not that there is anything wrong with those
activities, but those are not traits the Lord needs from His daughters. And we should not be limited by the idea that
that is what a woman’s role in the
church entails. Because it is not.
With that in mind, let me
touch on the subject of equality. That
word is taboo to say within the context of the church, but it shouldn’t
be. In the Doctrine and Covenants, it
states, “whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the
same (D&C 1:38)” and the prophets and apostles have been very clear that although
duties may differ, men and women walk together and work together equally. Over and over, we are told about the “equal
partnership” between husband and wife, men and women. The bible states that “God is no respecter of
persons (Acts 10:34).” Elder Dallin H.
Oaks stated, “In the eyes of God, whether in the Church or in the family, women
and men are equal, with different responsibilities.” Those differences in responsibilities do not
diminish the value of women, just as they do not diminish the value of men. In the same vein, holding an office in the
priesthood does not make you superior, just as the lack of it does not make you
inferior.
So I would ask: do you
believe it? Do you believe the Lord when
he says that women and men are equal?
Because when the Lord’s apostles and prophets say that men and women are
equal in His sight, that is just what He means. And that is how we should see each other.
Now, I have mentioned several
women in this talk who I have known personally that have exemplified the role
of women in the church in some way, as they have furthered the work of the
Lord. But there are so many more
examples of women who have done the same.
When speaking about women within the scriptures, Elder Neal A. Maxwell said,
“We are accustomed to focusing on the men of God because theirs is the
priesthood and leadership line. But paralleling that authority line is a stream
of righteous influence reflecting the remarkable women of God who have existed
in all ages and dispensations, including our own. Greatness is not measured by…column
inches…in the scriptures….”
In many ways, the righteous
examples of women within the scriptures is even more poignant to me because so
often these exemplary women do the Lord’s will while remaining nameless to
everyone but Him.
Elder Maxwell continues, “Divine
design—not chance—brought Mary forward to be the mother of Jesus. The boy
prophet, Joseph Smith, was blessed not only with a great father but also with a
superb mother, Lucy Mack, who influenced a whole dispensation.
“When we would measure loving loyalty in a human
relationship, do we not speak of Ruth and Naomi even more than David and
Jonathan? A widow with her mite taught
us how to tithe. An impoverished and
starving widow”—one of my heroes from the scriptures— “an impoverished and
starving widow with her hungry son…gave her meal and oil to Elijah. The divine
maternal instincts of an Egyptian woman retrieved Moses from the bulrushes,
thereby shaping history….
“Does it not tell us much about the intrinsic
intelligence of women to read of the crucifixion scene at Calvary: “And many
women were there beholding afar off.” (Matt. 27:55.) Their presence was a
prayer; their lingering was like a litany.
“And who came first to the empty tomb of the risen
Christ? Two women. Who was the first mortal to see the resurrected Savior?
Mary of Magdala.” (Elder Neal A. Maxwell)
“Someday, when the whole
story of this and previous dispensations is told, it will be filled with
courageous stories of our women, of their wisdom and their devotion, their
courage….” (President Spencer W. Kimball)
Brothers and Sisters, I have
a testimony of the divine capacity of women!
Our role within the church is limitless because we are daughters of
Heavenly Parents who love us, as we love them.
We have inherited gifts and attributes that come trailing down through
eternity to help us fulfill the divine tasks appointed to us. We can rise to the stature of the divine
within us: we have the example of women who have come before us, and the Spirit
of God to guide and direct us. Our
Heavenly Mother and Father want us to succeed, and with their help, we will.
This is the Lord’s work. Of this I testify.
